Election Cliches Will Abound

Tune in to your favorite political pundit tonight and you are sure to find that the old adage, avoid cliches like the plague, does not apply to politics. Here's a sampling:

This race is too close to call ( his bifocals need replacing)

Senator Flubber is ahead by a whisker (he hasn't shaved since the campaign started)

Color Ohio blue (even though they are seeing red over voting restrictions)

The Republicans and the Democrats are in a horse race for control of the House (they haven't heard that gambling on elections is illegal)

It looks like a clean sweep ( now they can start all over again)

John the Candidate has carried the state (that's what weight lifting will do for you)

His coat tails are not long enough (needs a good tailor on his staff)

Smith is trailing Johnson (he suspects him of cheating)

The early returns show a trend (it's a wild guess)

With 1% of the vote in we give Ohio to ??? ( that's generous of them)

The race for POTUS may be decided by SCOTUS (the fix is in)

Having said that, I'll turn the TV on and watch that great movie , "Mr. Smith Goes To Washington" - it's full of good cliches.

Oh, I forgot. With the polls still open and 0% of the vote counted, I am going out on a limb and declare that Barak Obama will at the very least be President for the rest of the year and has a leg up on being elected to a second term.

Shoot the breeze

Shoot the breeze and shoot the bull are both clichés describing casual talk merely for the pleasure of conversation. There is however an important difference. During the course of shooting the breeze there will be a lot of hot air blowing. Shooting the bull results in a lot of bull shit. In both cases no harm is done.

It goes without saying

It goes without saying that “go” may be involved in more clichés than any other word. I do not have any hard numbers to prove my case but I’m going to go for it anyway. This is not surprising since I’ve been known to go off half- cocked on more than one occasion. Even worse, my conclusions either go against the grain or  they go around Robin Hood’s barn. Nonetheless, I would encourage you to go along for the ride. On second thought , just because I’ve gone off the deep end, it might be best if I go it alone. That being the case, there will be no one reading this post. If no one is reading this, there will be no one to convince that “go” may be involved in more clichés than any other word. It appears that I’ve gone full circle and before I go bananas I’ll let clichés such as- go climb a tree. go to the dogs, go fry an egg, go hat in hand, go haywire, go like the wind, go whole hog, go on the warpath, go Scot-free, go to town, go to pot-go by the board. I rest my case.

If at first you don't succeed

How many times have you been on the brink of failure only to have some wise ass say, " If at first you don't succeed, try, try again". The trouble with that advice is that it does not take into consideration what caused failure in the first place. If it was stupidity, one would be better served by developing some intelligence. If it was laziness, there is little chance that one will summon the energy to try again. Regardless of the reasons for failure, there is some light at the end of the tunnel by trying again and again to succeed, eventually one will be so exhausted that he won't give a shit.

Stinks To High Heaven

While watching a vintage movie ( they're the only movies worth watching these days) I heard the expression, " if it stinks, don't put your nose in it". This is true only if it stinks to high heaven. That being the case, I would not touch it with a ten foot pole. On the other hand, sticking your nose into a stink and playing your cards right , may result in  coming up smelling like a rose.

A Day Late And A Dollar Short

My high primal spouse has a favorite cliche - a day late and a dollar short. Not being sure of the meaning, I Googled it. ( Has "Googled" become a cliche? I wonder.). Guess what. Between you and me and the lamppost, a day late and a dollar short is better known as as an idiom than as a cliche. Far be it from me to question the high primal. High primals are never wrong. They may be mistaken but they are never wrong. There is not a ghost of a chance that she would agree that a day late and a dollar short is not a cliche. Be that as it may, I must admit that at best, distinguishing idioms from cliches is like beating a dead horse. To put it simply, most idioms are overused which makes them cliches. I'm sure my reader already knew this and has concluded that my expose of idioms is too little, too late or better still comes up a day late and a dollar short.

With A Grain Of Salt

All that is said during a political campaign should be taken with a grain of salt . Once the campaign is over you can be sure that the chicken in every pot that was promised flew the coop. A word to the wise is to always expect to be disappointed and you won’t.

Bed of Roses

Having some time on my hands, I thought I'd throw some light on the cliche "bed of roses". Bed of roses implies a soft or enviable situation. I submit that lying on a bed of roses can be a thorn in your side. One man's bed of roses can be another man's crown of thorns. Having said that, I must admit that I may be barking up the wrong tree. After all, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Better yet, a rose by any other name smells the same.