Baseball 2010 is over - for some of us!

Unless your favorite team made it to the playoffs, today was the end of Baseball 2010. As an Indians fan I'm left with cliches and nightmarish memories of a miserable season .

For instance, in today's game the play-by-play announcer was careful to remind anyone watching that the players wanted to "end the season on a high note". Word has it that the Manager ordered the players not to wear cups. The "Skipper" also reminded the players that " you can't hit the ball if you don't swing the bat". The players shot back that theywouldn't get hit in the sweet spot swinging the bat since the ball might hit the bat's sweet spot instead.

Later in the game when a player put caution to the wind and swung the bat, the " ball sailed over the fence". The next player insisted that the pitcher use a similar ball with sails, which of course the ump refused to permit. On the next pitch, just like Superman, he "hit a bullet' through a "hole in the infield" for a triple. The Manager ran out on the field to argue with the "ump" that " in any other ballpark, that's a home run". The "ump" agreed  - he ordered the ground crew to plug the hole.

The highlight of the game occurred when one of the players who had previously hit a single, double and triple , "swung for the fence" and "hit the cycle". What a cycle was doing on the playing field was never explained. In the background the play-by-play announcer was doing his imitation of Mel Allen and shouted "that ball is gone to souvenir city". The "ump" was last seen going up to the broadcast booth to admonish the announcer that he had a lousy command of baseball cliches and if he didn't stop he was pulling the plug and forfeiting the game.

The game did end on a high note. As the opposing pitcher was "trying to pitch himself out of a jam", he "uncorked a bad pitch" which hit the Indians batter in the sweet spot. His scream rivaling that of a Met soprano, rang out all over the ball park.

Its pretty sad when I'm reduced to farting around with cliches at the end of a baseball season instead of looking forward to the Indians playing for a championship. That's the way the cookie crumbles.