Poor As A Church Mouse

In these days of an unpredictable economy, a word to the wise is to bone up on clichés that describe one’s plight if faced with poverty. A few come to mind but may or may not be appropriate as the case might be.

For instance, you could bring tears to someone’s eyes by declaring that you are as poor as a church mouse. The most discerning of your audience however, might not be so sympathetic.

Being poor as a church mouse is far too encompassing. Not all churches are surrounded by poverty. Case in point, the Vatican. Mice at the Vatican have nothing but the best.

Even worse would be to declare that that you have champagne tastes and a beer budget. That would hardly elicit a tear. What is so bad about a beer budget? As for the champagne taste, well into each life a little rain must pour. Above all, grin and bear it. Beer is not so bad.

Avoid these two clichés like the plague:

• Don’t have two nickels to rub together
• Haven't got a penny to my name

Most people have no use for nickels and pennies or dimes and quarters for that matter. Not having a coin in your pocket is no longer a sign of poverty. Which raises the question, "Would a hole in your pocket or better yet in your sock have any significance besides telling the world that you are a penny pincher?” Ouch! I can't believe I wrote that.

When push comes to pull, if you are truly in an impoverished state proclaim, “I haven’t got a pot to piss in or a window to throw it out from.” Such a situation is not subject to debate. What may be subject to debate is whether it is still possible to go from rags to riches. No one ever said that life would be a bed of roses.