About Designated Drivers

Umbriago and his buddy Jim Beam decided to tie one on.  After four hours at Mulligan’s, Umbriago was definitely smashed and under the weather. Jim Beam wasn’t even plastered. In fact Jim offered to drive the bombed Umbriago home. Umbriago told Jim to go piss up a rope - he wasn’t driving with anyone pissed to the gills. At this the bartender, without beating around the bush, shouted at Umbriago that he was as drunk as a skunk and cut off Umbriago’s drinks. Umbriago took a wild swing at the bartender, missed and kissed the floor. Jim Beam loaded Umbriago into his car, dumped him home, picked up his buddy Johnny Walker and went back to Mulligan’s determined to get looped. Johnny had agreed to be the designated driver but he got sloshed before Jim. The moral of the story is that if you can hold your liquor, you are doomed to be the designated driver.