In a post some time ago, Baseball Is A Game Of Inches And Clichés (4/16/09), I stated that it is doubtful that anyone can talk about a baseball game without resorting to cliché's. Baseball events and antics just can't be described in "plain" English. Any attempt to do so can be frustrating and so unnecessarily time consuming that the game is practically over before the action involved in one at bat can be described. An at bat of course is shorthand for a player standing at home plate with a bat in his hands and attempting to hit a ball thrown by the pitcher. If that does not make my point, consider the following:
The bases are loaded The umpire dusts off the plate and motions for Slamming Sam to step up to the plate. Speedball Josh, the flame thrower, winds up and unleashes a wild pitch to the plate which is smothered by Paunchy Job , the catcher. Slamming Sam crowds the plate but the next pitch brushes him off the plate. Speedball is playing a little chin music with Sam. Sam steps off the plate, takes a few practice swings, glares at Josh and steps up to the plate again. This time Sam makes contact but fouls it off. Speedball uncorks another whistling pitch. Slamming Sam is ready and with one swing of the bat sends the ball screaming over the fence clearing the bases for a grand slam. Sam gets into his home run trot and as he rounds first base, gives Speedball Josh the finger. The benches clear but the damage has been done.
There is no way “the King’s English” could have captured the excitement of a Slamming Sam grand slam.
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